Taro-chan’s First Panic Attack

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This past Sunday night (June 26), after my last blogging post, I experienced my very first panic attack ever. 
It was truly HORRIFIC. (ಥ﹏ಥ)
Here’s what happened.
Oh, and before I tell you my story, I want to state that marijuana is legal in my state.
I was offered by friends to try an edible chocolate chip cookie and a cannabis-infused slushie before that night’s birthday party celebration. I took that offer to experience it for the first time with a lack of knowledge of how much a first-timer should take. If I remember correctly, I consumed 2 little pieces of edible chocolate chip cookie (not sure how many doses are in a cookie) and took 1 shot glass from a cup of 25mg cannabis-infused slushie. I felt okay in the beginning. I was really hoping that my experience would be a good one since I know a good number of people who have taken marijuana before, and they always end up either relaxed or happy. Unexpectedly, everything took a wrong turn the moment I took a bite of a normal Madeleine cookie, and no, I’m not allergic to the cookie because I’ve eaten it plenty of times before. I’m assuming that the edibles finally kicked in.

WARNING OF UPCOMING DESCRIPTIVE DETAILS OF MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH MY PANIC ATTACK EXPERIENCE.

I couldn’t feel my throat and the bite of the Madeleine cookie felt extremely airy. I had an intense cooling sensation coming through my esophagus, and it felt so hard for me to breathe. My heart raced as if I was going to have a heart attack. I truly believe that I was having a heart attack. I literally rose up from my seat out of fear because I believed that I was going to die at that very moment. I made it obvious to everyone around me that I was literally going to die and that someone should call “911.” They called for Ouushi-kun to immediately come over and help me relax. It wasn’t “911“, but having my boyfriend next to me was good too, because Ouushi-kun’s presence and voice helped me relax a bit. He repeatedly told me to “breathe from your nose and let it out of your mouth” and to “relax” a lot. In addition to that, he counted my heart rate (beats per minute). I don’t exactly know the counts, but apparently it was really fast. I also told him to distract me from thinking about death by telling me a story. The distraction worked but honestly, I wished he was better at story-telling. Eventually, I calmed down slowly and cried because I really thought I was a goner. I observed the room and saw a couple of shocked faces. They had never seen anyone panic after taking edibles before. I mean, I haven’t either. I know I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed about this whole situation.
Unfortunately, this was not my last panic attack of that night. [ ± _ ± ]

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My panic attack was coming back again after 5-10 minutes of calming down. I immediately told Ouushi-kun to bring a bottle of water (I was extremely thirsty) and to walk out with me because I didn’t want to deal with the loud music and worry about others around me. I told Ouushi-kun that I needed to walk around the neighborhood to distract myself from this feeling. He advised me to stop thinking and relax, but I can’t. If only it were that easy to shake off these thoughts and feelings. I did try it though. 
My panic attacks were on and off from that point on. It felt like endless torture. Ouushi-kun and I held hands while walking around the neighborhood for about 100x. We were basically walking in circles around the neighborhood, and sometimes I would have to sing loudly to shake off my negative thoughts and move my body a lot to shake-off the tingling numbness I was feeling around my legs and arms. During all of that, I even prepared a recorded voice message on Ouushi-kun’s cell phone, basically saying that my death is no one’s fault and that I love Ouushi-kun, my sister, and my dad. ｡･ﾟﾟ(>д<)ﾟﾟ･｡ I was also worried that if I were to die on the street, I feared that the police would punish my boyfriend for not calling “911” earlier and that he would have to go to jail. I worried about that more than my own death at some point. In between the hours, we had to head back inside so I could use the restroom or refill my water because my thirst was never ending. After that, we would head back out because I was still in an unstable state. All this walking (speed-walking) tired out Ouushi-kun’s legs and lower-back (he always had lower-back pain) because I couldn’t stay still from 9-ish pm to 1-ish am while I had my multiple panic attacks at the same time. He was so supportive all these hours and I felt really bad, so I told him that he could sit on the street curb and that I could try staying in one place for a bit. While he sat on the curb, I couldn’t stay still and walked in small circles for what felt like more than 100x. During the time I circled around, I was thinking how odd it is that my circles are so symmetrical. Weird. Anyways, after Ouushi-kun’s sitting curb break, we decided to go back inside to get some food to eat, but I could barely eat unless I got water to assist me with swallowing. A few friends were kind enough to give me herbal ointment to use, talked to me to distract my stressed thoughts, and tried to entertain me by pretending they were microwaving food (very comedy-like). By around 2-3 am, I calmed down a lot and decided that I was ready to be safely driven back home. After being back home, I was still paranoid of having more panic attacks, and I had to use the restroom to pee out all the water I drank intermittently for about 10x. Ouushi-kun and I stayed up till 5 or 6 am on Monday morning. Goodness gracious, what an awful night. I can say it’s one of the worst nights I’ve ever had. This whole experience was honestly quite traumatizing. It took me days to get back to my normal state without any paranoia about another panic attack. I even discussed my condition with my sister (soon to be a nurse). She isn’t a doctor or official nurse yet, but she told me that I might have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or have taken too many edibles that my body can handle. That’s logically possible. Overall, I can confidently say that I will never consume marijuana/edibles ever again.
After this experience, I did a lot of research to educate myself on panic attacks, anxiety attacks, marijuana stories, experiences, allergies, and more. Apparently, I’m not the only one that felt panic attacks after taking edibles. (¯ ¯٥)

For educational purposes…

_{My panic attack symptoms are marked in black bullets.}

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#1 thing I advise to do first is relax and breathe.
To add to that, if you feel tingling and numbness, make sure to shake it off.
Move around if you have to.}

Still alive and thriving,
Taro-chan (•ᴗ•) ♡

Taro-chan’s Summer Beginnings

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My scorching weather has finally arrived last week, indicating that summer has arrived for me! Because I live in the American Midwest, I get to see all four seasons: spring, summer, fall, and winter. I’ve had hot weather on random days for the past two weeks. I live in a city with bipolar weather, so it wasn’t always constant, but I anticipate hot weather will continue from now through the end of September, according to the weather forecast.

To my astonishment, I thought I had my air conditioning set up at home to deal with the heat, but it had broken down on the first day of the heat wave. It had always worked properly until this week, when I needed it, but for whatever reason, it decided not to operate on the hottest day of the week. Unfortunately, while waiting for the air conditioning to be repaired, Ouushi-kun and I had to endure temperatures of 100°F and heavy humidity for two days and one night. (╥﹏╥) Ouushi-kun decided to order a portable air conditioner on Amazon because the heat was too much for him. It took some time to find a nice one because the good ones with good ratings and reviews cost upwards of $180. ๏_๏ Why is a good portable air conditioner 2-3 times more expensive than a good portable heater? If I look on the bright side, at the very least we have a fan, cold water, ice, and Snake Brand prickly heat powder (classic) to keep us cool when we need it.

Oh, and if you’ve never heard of prickly heat powder, it’s a cooling powder that you can distribute all over your body to absorb sweat, keep your skin dry, reduce irritation and rash caused by hot and humid conditions, and it’s soothing and minty cool. It’s quite useful, and it truly works. I only use it when I absolutely need it, but be warned: applying the powder can be a bit messy.

The air conditioning had been repaired by the end of the second day, and we had cancelled our Amazon order for a new portable air conditioner because we didn’t need it anymore. We can finally get a good night’s sleep. I wish you could’ve seen Ouushi-kun’s face when we finally got some cool air in the home. His eyes gleam with delight. Seeing him so joyful was a lovely sight. ≖‿≖

Hoping for better days to come,
Taro-chan ≧◡≦

Taro-chan’s Disappointment on Overturned Roe v. Wade

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I don’t usually get political, but I am devastated with yesterday’s news of the Supreme Court’s ruling decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. (ᵟຶᴖ ᵟຶ ) If you do not know what “Roe v. Wade” is, it is a United States case law that allows a woman’s right to get an abortion without the government’s interference. But because of the Supreme Court’s decision to overturn it, states can now start banning abortions, which leads to taking away women’s rights to their own bodies. To be honest, it’s already government interference if the Supreme Court decides the law for a woman’s right, but I believe we, as citizens, let it slide because our society believes that we require a system to ensure Americans get equal justice so the country will not go into havoc. However, I believe the Supreme Court made the wrong decision and this is not justice to us women. There is a lot more depth to the system, but I’m going to just focus on this unjustified ruling on women’s right to abortion. I understand that the subject of “abortion” has always been controversial, but who in their right mind would give other strangers, especially men, the right to a woman’s body? I do admit that this subject is quite complicated, but if a woman cannot make a final decision for her own body, how the heck will anything else be fair and well for a woman if she can’t even make her own decision for her own well-being and livelihood in the first place? 

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I believe that men can have rights, but to a limited extent. A woman should have the final say in what she does with her body. Let’s say a couple unexpectedly created a fetus together. The man wants to keep the future child and is willing to raise the child himself, but the woman doesn’t, for whatever reason she may have. I believe that the man has the right to have the chance to voice his views on keeping the child as long as he is willing to take responsibility, even if he ends up being a single parent. However, in the end, it is up to the woman to be willing to hold onto the unwanted child for months with her own body and birth it. Of course, this is just one out of many scenarios, but this is one example of it being okay for men’s rights to voice out on abortion and women’s rights to have the final say because women are the ones sacrificing their bodies physically and mentally.

If abortions continue to be banned in the long run, I expect that young girls and women, especially those with lower incomes and those with medical illnesses such as depression, will still have abortions illegally and unsafely because they never wanted a child to begin with. They will do it themselves in their own homes if they have to, even if it risks their own lives. Some may possibly even murder their baby after giving birth. (༎ຶ . ༎ຶ) If future women are forced to give birth to a child because of the abortion ban and not because they want to keep it, I can see a much larger population rate of unwanted kids in the adoption centers, foster care system, and group homes. Some of these kids will grow up becoming homeless or feeling alone with trauma or depression, and some may be the few lucky ones to grow up successful. Unfortunately, I’ve read and watched more negative stories than positive ones. In my opinion, there are so many more issues to tackle about bringing an unwanted child into this world than having a fetus aborted. Why are pro-lifers more concerned with a fetus and less concerned with the women who are faced with an unexpected pregnancy? Are pro-lifers going to take good responsibility for these unwanted kids and unexpected mothers? Are they going to donate food, money, and therapy for the outcome of all of this? These are just basic necessities covered. From what I’ve seen so far, most pro-lifers are mainly talking about their views and making legal decisions for other women’s bodies. Kids are a huge responsibility, and not everyone can afford or become mentally prepared to raise one. It’s already hard enough to get by in life as it is, with rent, food, gas, and taxes rising. I truly believe that abortion bans have far more serious consequences than allowing abortions.

Here are some additional abortion resources I found on an Instagram post today.
Utilize it if you want or need it.

I’m a woman, and I control my own body.
My body, my choice.
I’m pro-choice and I support abortion.
I support Planned Parenthood.
Feel free to donate to Planned Parenthood.
CLICK HERE TO DONATE.
Thank you.
⊂((・▽・))⊃

Women’s rights FTW,
Taro-chan ( •̀ ᄇ• ́)ﻭ✧

Taro-chan Celebrates Dad’s Day with Family at Paradise Park

Father’s Day was on a Sunday, but we celebrated on a Monday because my dad was off work that day. We also celebrated his lunar birthday early since he had to work on his birthday this year. ★~(◡‿◡✿) It was quite a busy day for Ouushi-kun and me because we had to bake his birthday cake and prepare everything for the celebration. There were seven of us in total. We all went to this pretty place called “Paradise Park” in the city. This bar is known for its pizza and patio. I’ve always walked past this place in the past, and I was excited to finally visit since it was my first time going inside as a customer. The waitresses there are pretty and kind. Their service is wonderful! We ordered 3 different types of pizza (Bennett’s Beauty, Strike A Posner, and Meatball ‘Za), potato skins, a salad (North Ave.), and 2 orders of chicken strips. We wanted to order 2 other dishes (Mac n’ Cheese & Baked Eggplant Fries) on the menu, but they ran out. ‘︿’ It’s probably because we arrived around 7pm. Personally, pizza was great in my opinion, but I don’t think it was the right food for my dad because he isn’t much of an adventurous eater and enjoys his Chinese food, but all of us wanted him to get out of his comfort zone and try a new environment. Overall, I do love the aesthetics of this place. I enjoy being in this type of environment because it really brings out a good vibe and mood for me. Honestly, I think we all enjoyed this new setting together as a family.

Moments of the Day

Funny moment: When the hostess asks us all to show our IDs except for my grandparents, my grandpa insists on showing his ID since he was already taking it out and showed it to the hostess’s face up close. It was so close that it was right in front of her eyes. Oh my. I would’ve been cross-eyed looking at an ID so up close if I were her. (◑‿◐) Luckily, she was kind and understanding of an elderly man with no ill-intentions about being so up close and personal.

Happy moment: When I gave my dad lottery tickets to play once he was finished eating, he loves playing crossword lottery tickets but doesn’t have much luck with them. Unfortunately, not much luck was on his side during his special day either. Well, at least it was fun. (ᅌᴗᅌ* )

Stressful moment: Cake-making (not a professional) and double checking all the preparations go smoothly.

Successful moment: All went well as planned! (▰˘◡˘▰)

Happy Belated Father’s Day &
Happy Early Lunar Birthday Dad &
ごちそうさま
Thanks for the delicious meal,
Taro-chan (っ˘ڡ˘ς) ♥

Taro-chan Follows Ouushi-kun to Work Day

The primary objective for today is to study, blog, and chill at Ouushi-kun’s workplace. |▰◕△◕▰| Ouushi-kun has two work environments. One is a sushi restaurant, while the other is a Thai restaurant. He works at the Thai restaurant today, a Thursday. His two bosses, a kind elderly couple who cook the restaurant’s meals, work in the kitchen most of the time. Surprisingly, they rarely come out to take a break at the dining area. Ouushi-kun told me that they are comfortably prepping for food throughout the day.

This is my first visit to this location and it’s peaceful. The atmosphere is light and airy. Maybe I’m thinking this way because it’s not a particularly busy time. I’ve also noticed that the restaurant is surrounded by a large number of plants. Ouushi-kun’s boss lady is a plant lover. I’m going to go take pictures of her plants. Be right back!

DONE.
To all my plant lovers, enjoy!
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧
Please excuse the watermark.

Happy Thursday,
Taro-Chan (•ө•)♡

Catch-Up Lunch In Chinatown

My friends and I had a last-minute catch-up date in Chinatown Square last weekend.
We ate at a new restaurant called “Daifuku Ramen.”
≧◡≦

3 Daifuku Spicy Garlic Ramen | 1 Hakodate Shio Ramen
I’m the one who got Hakodate Shio Ramen. I must say the broth is well-made and it’s not too oily compared to other restaurant ramen I’ve had in the past. I prefer my ramen not to be too oily, or else it would feel too heavy in my opinion. The main parts I focused more on were the pork chasu and thick noodles for me. I love my meat with a good balance of fat to it, and as for the noodles, it was supposed to come with thin noodles, but I requested thick noodles instead. My friend told me it’s better to get thick noodles instead of thin ones because thin noodles tend to get soggy easily. I know that I talk a lot, so I will be taking my precious time eating the ramen. ◕3◕
The texture of both the pork chasu and the thick noodles is a good combo!
Overall, the ramen was good!
Would I eat it again?
Yes! ヾ(＠⌒▽⌒＠)ﾉ

Mix Milk & Matcha Topped with Rice Mochi & Red Bean Soft Served in a Cup
After our ramen meal, we decided to go try out this new dessert place close by called “Kyo Matcha.” I like matcha flavor, but texture is important to me when it comes to ice cream, and this one isn’t for me. At first, it looked good, but it was melting way too fast. And no, it’s not because I took pictures first. It was already becoming “soft” when I got it for 2-3 minutes. ●_● Maybe that’s why they called it “soft serve” for a reason. I guess that’s how soft served ice cream is supposed to be because I searched on Google and it said that soft serve can melt faster because it has more air, but I’m sure there is more to it if I search deeper. Here is a good question of the day.
Question: Why do some ice creams melt faster than others?
¿(❦﹏❦)?

ごちそうさま
Thanks for the delicious meal,
Taro-chan (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Taro-chan Supports Pride Month! Get Free Pride Socks from T-Mobile Tuesdays Only Today!

June is LGBTQIA+ pride month!

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That also means free rainbow pride socks only today for T-Mobile users with the T-Mobile Tuesday App!
Since I posted this a bit late in the day, call your nearest T-Mobile store to make sure if they still have any available in stock.

Look how cute and useful they are.
Bring out that awareness and wear it proudly!
Happy Pride!
o(ᵔ ᴥ ᵔ)o

L♡VE is L♡VE,
Taro-chan ♡

Supplements for Days!

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For the past few weeks, I’ve been trying to finish my youtheory collagen + biotin supplements for skin, hair, and nail benefits before they expire in June of this year. I purchased these supplements from Costco last year to try them out, but I was never consistent with them because the pills are huge. ಠ,ಥ There are a total of 390 tablets, and the bottle suggests taking 6 tablets per day for adults. But the tablet’s size is so unappealing to me that I am actually not fond of taking all 6 and have decided to take 3 tablets a day so far. Now that the expiration month has arrived, I’m rushing to finish these before the supplements become less effective. Who doesn’t want nicer and healthier skin, hair, and nails? So far, my nails have definitely improved because they are smoother and stronger. As for my hair and skin, I haven’t noticed much difference yet. Since I haven’t consumed these supplements for long and consistently, it makes sense to not see huge differences right away. I think I still have about 150 tablets to go, and if I’m taking only 3 a day, I won’t finish them within a month and it would take about 2 months to finish. If I took the recommended dosage of 6 pills per day, I could finish it by the end of the month. At least I can do divided doses a day. I think that if I took the 6 tablets per day, I would have faster results, so I’ll try it but I won’t like swallowing so many big pills. ┐(‘～`；)┌
Anyways, I’ll give it a go and finish them up by the end of June, or at least by the end of the first week of July! 
It’ll be good nourishment.

ごちそうさま
Thanks for the delicious meal,
Taro-chan (っ˘ڡ˘ς)

Taro-chan’s First Time Meeting “Aunty Flo”

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Warning. This one is personal.
(ভ_ ভ) ރ It’s not often that I use the word “hate” and if I do, I do not use this term lightly. 

I remember the first time Aunty Flo visited me, around the time I was between 10 – 11 years of age. She came out of nowhere. I had absolutely no knowledge of her, and she shocked me with a surprise visit, a surprise that was clearly unwanted. Like. . . who invited her? ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ) Not me. But she came uninvited anyway. How rude of her. Aunty Flo invaded my personal space. I screamed and even locked myself in the bathroom for probably a good 20 minutes, which felt like an hour. My mom heard my scream and asked if I was okay, and I told her “Yeah, everything is fine.” I lied, but only because I didn’t want her to worry. Within those 20 minutes in the bathroom, all I did was cry and debate whether or not I was going to die soon. Why? Because Aunty Flo is a bright blood bath coming directly out of me. It was unsightly. I was honestly staring at Aunty Flo while planning a funeral in my mind. (╥﹏╥) I thought to myself, I’m too young to die and clearly I need to go to the hospital. I gathered up my courage and screamed for my mom to help me. She came urgently to see what my issue was. I told her not to panic before I unlocked the door for her to come see Aunty Flo’s bloody invasion. My mom’s facial expression was . . . surprisingly. . . calm. I proceed to tell her that she needs to take me to the hospital because I told her, “I’m dying.” while crying at the same time. She told me to calm down and commented that she was surprised that I got it so early because she had hers when she was around 14 or 15 years old. I guess every girl’s body is different depending on their environment. She educated me that it is a normal process for girls to have Aunty Flo for the future of having babies, and she gave me a large pad for Aunty Flo. I looked at the pad and I literally thought it looked like a diaper, but in a different way. My mom gave me a new panty and proceeded to teach me how to put the pad on, how frequently I should change it, how to clean Aunty Flo, and so on. It took a few tries for me to properly adhere the pad so that I don’t have future leaks, especially while sleeping. The whole process was educational and new to me, yet annoying. I absolutely hated how the pad not only looked like a diaper, but it also felt like one too. Bulky and uncomfortable. It feels even worse knowing that Aunty Flo is completely absorbed into the pad. I hated Aunty Flo back then and I still hate her even to this day. And guess what? Aunty Flo came to visit me tonight. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Thanks Mom for being there for me,
Taro-chan ♡

Taro-chan’s Weekend Checklist

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Outside of the blogging world, I have other priorities I must set for myself. I have goals. I always like to remind myself that, whether it is a small or big goal, one should not rush and take it step by step at a time. That is, if life and time permits it. I would like to think both positively and realistically. Mostly for my own mental well-being. Reminders like a checklist help me with deadlines and checking out the boxes really does make me feel accomplished in a way. I have a separate notebook for checklists, but today I’ll post my new checklist in public since checklists are part of my life and hopefully it can encourage my fellow readers to be inspired to create their own checklists someday if they haven’t done so already. ｡◕‿◕｡

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To-Do List
Deadline: 06/05/2022 (Sunday, 11:59PM)
☐ Complete Review/Study CompTIA 220-1002 A+ (1.1-1.9)
☐ June 5th (Sunday, 6-7PM) Online Book Club Meeting
☐ Remind Ouushi-kun to pay for this month’s State Farm & Car Installment
☐ Self-Care: Massage the scalp
☐ Self-Care: Exfoliate lip with sugar scrub
☐ Create a new jar of black tea and refrigerate
☐ Check Amazon packages
☑ Create and post a new public checklist for blog

I think that’s about it for my new checklist so far.
Enjoy reading my to-do list!
If you have a to-do list and if you would like, feel free to comment and share one task you must do by the end of Sunday.
If you don’t have one, it’s never too late.
If you like my checklist content, please like this post.

Check off,
Taro-chan ☑